It is my norm during the school year to catch Charles Stanley on WAVA as I drive the boys to school. It's actually kind of cool for me, because I get to spend those few minutes listening to some real Bible truth with my boys right before they venture of into the big bad world of Public School. Armor for the battle, if you will .....
Well, nearly a year ago now, as I was listening to his closing comments after dropping the boys off Dr Stanley made this comment .... what could God do in and through your life if there were no limitations?
For nearly a year now this question has haunted me ...
Two things happened that day .... One, I immediately realized all of the limitations I have allowed to take hold in my life, and, Two, I immediately realized that having a life without limitations in God is possible.
I have written in different places about this moment in my life, yet I am writing specifically about it now; because, dealing with it has changed the way I see everything, and, lately, has kept me up at night and getting very poor sleep when I do finally nod off. It has left me in an undeniable Spiritual unrest, and feeling incredibly off balance. My faith is steadfast, and there is no doubt that where ever I am right now, I am here with God. I'm just not sure I know where this where ever is. It's not like my desert time I so look forward to with Him, but it is definitely just He and I.
The beautiful thing about my unrest is that only God can lead me out of it.
Much prayer and many blessings,
Kalena Following
Monday, August 30, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
William Thomas
So ... we spent the weekend down near Charlottesville for the Pace/Carter Family reunion. It's Mark's Mom's side of our family. It's the third year we've attended, and it's always a fabulous time. Usually we go down the day of and return that night, because we live so close. This year, though, we decided to go ahead and get a room, so we wouldn't be driving back in the middle of the night. It also gave us the opportunity to spend extra time with the family in a smaller setting at Aunt Fannie's. What an AWESOME treat that was for me.
Mark's family owns property down there, and they all have country settings. The boys were really excited about staying over, because it meant an extra day in the pool and a trip to see Uncle Dave's cows and barn. For me ..... it was like going home.
When I was a kid growing up, summer vacation always meant the excitement of another opportunity to be on Pensacola Beach. It also meant the trip to De Funiak Springs to see my Granny and Grampa. I was always my Grampa's girl, but, other than seeing him, there wasn't much about being at his house that was very appealing. Country living's finest, and it just wasn't my gig, especially when the beach was sooooo stinkin' close.
Sunday, though, as I walked down the little beaten dirt path, around the towering walnut trees toward the barn, I felt a sense of belonging and comfort that was too obvious to ignore. The smells were the same as being at Grampa's. A naturalness that doesn't exist in the city, with an undeniable air of hay and manure wafting on the breeze. Time seemed to slow down to a comfortable stride that I rarely ever use. And ..... all those things that seem so vital and important .... those things that overwork blood pressure and stress levels seemed far less urgent. The pressing issue of the day appeared to be the cows making it under the one shade tree standing in the field when the sun momentarily popped through the day's overcast skies. So many memories from being at Grampa's danced with me that day. The fig trees in the back yard, the enormous smelly sow in the barn, the long walk past the corn field to get to the fishing pond to have a peak and see if that crazy bull was still IN his pin. Great Great Grandma Lucy's house even gave me a clear reminder of sleeping at Grampa's on rainy, summer night's ... dancing with the Sandman to the beat of a million raindrops pinging away on the tin roof. The only things missing were a brown fedora, and the sweet smell of tobacco waiting just inside the front door.
I miss my Grampa, but Sunday made it ok.
Remembering W.T.,
Kalena in Country
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Invisible Goliaths
For as long as I can remember, I've known the story of David and Goliath ... of how the mighty giant fell at the hands of an unknown shepherd boy and his sling shot. In my mind's eye as a child, Goliath was 100 feet tall and weighed 1000 pounds, and David was just a small boy. It was always amazing to me that David showed near fear at facing this behemoth of a man and still had the grit to talk trash .....
Today, however, Goliath seems far less of an adversary to me.
As we live and grow, I suppose somewhere we allow ourselves to believe that living life will get easier. We are more intelligent and have more control over our lives than when we are kids in our parents homes. Yet ..... this thought process seems to run in perfect contradiction to what actually happens in life. When we are kids, most things are cut and dried in black and white ... especially in our relationships. We know who our family is, we know who our friends are and we certainly know who the enemy is. And, though the dream would be for discernment to carry us into a clearer understanding of these facts as we grow, such is not the case.
This morning I began the walk into a deeper study of King David, specifically covering the guarding of our hearts. As with all other David studies, I was expecting there to be a lengthy dissertation on the circumstances surrounding the famous battle from my childhood. Strangely the man from Gath barely made appearance, other than to point out that Goliath was an enemy of God, which made him an enemy of the Israelite children, hence an enemy of David. Today's lesson looked past the mighty giant and toward the Invisible Goliath that David would soon face ... King Saul.
After defeating Goliath, David was given choice position and power within Saul's kingdom, and with obedience to God and respect for the king, David devoted himself to doing anything and everything he was asked. However, in madness (insanity) Saul became jealous of David, because he could see that God was with him. And, all the while that David was leading Saul's army, expanding Saul's territory and making him a very wealthy man, even ministering to him when no one else could or would ..... Saul was laying wait plotting ways to kill him, because he had come to fear and hate him, for no reason other than being ..... twice even launching a spear at David himself hoping to kill him.
I have sat in silence and solitude for most of this afternoon and evening having been deeply altered by the words of today's lesson. Revelatory moments with God often leave me in a deeper state of meditation, yet today was a different moment for me. Not that I am troubled in my Spirit, but I am definitely stirred. Too true to my current walk with God was today's teaching. Having learned through out this past year that not everyone who says they love me does, not everyone who professes to be a Christian is and that far too often the lines of family and friends become skewed and gray leaving an enormous foothold for the devil to play. All the while I have been in constant support, encouragement and prayer for the people who seemingly should be the closest in my life ..... I am learning daily that there are those who embrace the opportunity to be to me as Saul was to David.
In September of last year I began a journey for truth with God. HIS truth about Him, HIS truth about me and HIS truth about Him in my life. Diligently I've prayed for all these months for revelations of truth ... the good, the bad and the ugly of it ... everything I needed to know and see in order to get where I am going with Him. Over these past months I have laughed, cried and been in complete awe of the the truth the Lord has revealed to me ..... ever in prayer, ever diligent to learning and gaining wisdom in His truth. And, even in heartbreak ... ever thankful for the lessons and the journey. I have seen windows and doors opened and I have experienced windows and doors being closed ... all by His hand. It has been a divine process like no other I've known, and I would not take one step away from it for anything in the world. Today's Word from Him ran through every fiber of my being with revelation and clarity I cannot find words to describe.
The only disheartening fact for me today was that I recognized who my invisible goliaths are immediately.
In His Truth,
No Spear in Hand,
Kalena Resting
Today, however, Goliath seems far less of an adversary to me.
As we live and grow, I suppose somewhere we allow ourselves to believe that living life will get easier. We are more intelligent and have more control over our lives than when we are kids in our parents homes. Yet ..... this thought process seems to run in perfect contradiction to what actually happens in life. When we are kids, most things are cut and dried in black and white ... especially in our relationships. We know who our family is, we know who our friends are and we certainly know who the enemy is. And, though the dream would be for discernment to carry us into a clearer understanding of these facts as we grow, such is not the case.
This morning I began the walk into a deeper study of King David, specifically covering the guarding of our hearts. As with all other David studies, I was expecting there to be a lengthy dissertation on the circumstances surrounding the famous battle from my childhood. Strangely the man from Gath barely made appearance, other than to point out that Goliath was an enemy of God, which made him an enemy of the Israelite children, hence an enemy of David. Today's lesson looked past the mighty giant and toward the Invisible Goliath that David would soon face ... King Saul.
After defeating Goliath, David was given choice position and power within Saul's kingdom, and with obedience to God and respect for the king, David devoted himself to doing anything and everything he was asked. However, in madness (insanity) Saul became jealous of David, because he could see that God was with him. And, all the while that David was leading Saul's army, expanding Saul's territory and making him a very wealthy man, even ministering to him when no one else could or would ..... Saul was laying wait plotting ways to kill him, because he had come to fear and hate him, for no reason other than being ..... twice even launching a spear at David himself hoping to kill him.
I have sat in silence and solitude for most of this afternoon and evening having been deeply altered by the words of today's lesson. Revelatory moments with God often leave me in a deeper state of meditation, yet today was a different moment for me. Not that I am troubled in my Spirit, but I am definitely stirred. Too true to my current walk with God was today's teaching. Having learned through out this past year that not everyone who says they love me does, not everyone who professes to be a Christian is and that far too often the lines of family and friends become skewed and gray leaving an enormous foothold for the devil to play. All the while I have been in constant support, encouragement and prayer for the people who seemingly should be the closest in my life ..... I am learning daily that there are those who embrace the opportunity to be to me as Saul was to David.
In September of last year I began a journey for truth with God. HIS truth about Him, HIS truth about me and HIS truth about Him in my life. Diligently I've prayed for all these months for revelations of truth ... the good, the bad and the ugly of it ... everything I needed to know and see in order to get where I am going with Him. Over these past months I have laughed, cried and been in complete awe of the the truth the Lord has revealed to me ..... ever in prayer, ever diligent to learning and gaining wisdom in His truth. And, even in heartbreak ... ever thankful for the lessons and the journey. I have seen windows and doors opened and I have experienced windows and doors being closed ... all by His hand. It has been a divine process like no other I've known, and I would not take one step away from it for anything in the world. Today's Word from Him ran through every fiber of my being with revelation and clarity I cannot find words to describe.
The only disheartening fact for me today was that I recognized who my invisible goliaths are immediately.
In His Truth,
No Spear in Hand,
Kalena Resting
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)