Hard Truth

Last September, I entered into a deeper and dangerous journey with God. I openly began praying for truth. His truth about Himself. His truth about me, and His truth about Him in my life. Had I known at the onset the things that would manifest themselves from praying that way, I may have rethought the idea, but, alas, truth being resonant in my heart, I pressed in and prayed through.

Several of the truths that have been exposed during this year of diligence in truth, I will keep to myself; because, revealing would simply cause more harm than good. Yet the text that follows comes from a year long journey of discernment and revelation that stem from a simple prayer of asking God for truth.

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching a show on Investigative Discovery (ID) about this woman who had disappeared and no one knew where she was. Her children were at home with a sitter, and she had left details that she was going to meet someone and would be home at a certain time. A time that came and passed, and, sadly, she never returned. Investigators found her body some days later, and she had been violently attacked and murdered.

Throughout the investigation, there were several lifestyle choices and career choices that came out that were previously unknown to her friends and family. The thing that captured my heart was that as the detectives interviewed her friends and family and revealed these findings to them ... each and everyone of them stood by this woman and defended her .... even in death in the face of revelatory information of a shocking nature. With every new revelation, everyone interviewed continue to stand in the gap for this woman's honor, explaining that "if" what they were being told was the truth .... she must have had a good reason for what she did. "If" what was being revealed about her was truth, they ALL had a way of explaining "to her credit" why she would have ever even considered doing what was being said. It was incredible.

Based on my personal revelatory moments over this past year, I sat and thought ... if something like that ever happened to me, where I disappeared and was found murdered ... the people in my own life who would find themselves in an interview, by far and away, would all be thinking ... she must have done something to bring this on herself. This doesn't just happen. She had to have done something. I KNOW her ... she did something. Even those closest to me would be questioning my character and what had I done to end up in this situation. Even sadder, most of them would be sitting around waiting for the moment they heard anything that gave them the satisfaction of saying "I knew it" or "I told you so". This is equally as incredible as the response to the woman in the story.

And make no mistake ... this is NOT a poor me moment! I titled this "Hard Truth" by design. Because in the face of this truth, in the face of everything that has been revealed over these past months, as painful and as hurtful as some of my days have been ... I THANK GOD for leading me into this journey for truth and for walking beside me every step of the way. It has been a hard walk, for sure, and there have been days when just putting one foot in front of the other has been enough to send me tumbling ... however, the ONE THING that has remained constant through this entire adventure is that at the end of everyone of the days, God is still right here with me holding me steadfast. In truth, there have been countless where He has been the ONLY ONE, but I'll take that above a million around me, and Him absent any day of the week; and, if I had to do it all over again, knowing what I know now, you better believe I would!!!

With God,

Kalena in Truth