Here in Northern Virginia, we have two major freeways. I-495 encircles Washington DC and I-95 is the Eastern Seaboard corridor for travelers. We spend a lot of time stuck in some kind of traffic back here, but there's this one exit - Edsall Road - that seems to be a point of unforeseen conflict for many drivers. There is at least one major accident nearly every week at that interchange. I wonder sometimes how - when everyone knows how often this happens - this continues to be a conflicted junction in folks' lives, but tonight my thoughts are not on Edsall Road, my thoughts are on life in general. Edsall Road is merely my visual.
I have a full life. I am happily married, have two awesome, intelligent and gorgeous boys, a perfect dog, great house, come and go when I please, and am blessed beyond measure that I don't have to work and can enjoy my children growing up. My guest list is full of names and I have people around me who love me beyond measure. The crazy thing is that in this fullness and abundance, every now and then, one of my childhood friends comes into my heart and the fullness I am so thankful for echoes of hollowness.
When I was growing up, Ozzie and Harriet and The Brady Bunch were the big happy family shows on TV. And, as a child it was a dream to think that our house could ever be filled with the love and understanding so undeniably visible on those shows. Our house was a train wreck, always waiting on the next locomotive to come barreling down the track and slam it again. We never seemed to get the wreckage cleared, before another hazmat spill poured on top. It was a nightmare!
My escape from the ugliness was found in my friends at school. However, it worked out, most of my friends were guys. Missey was my best friend and we were everywhere together all of the time, but she was pretty much the only girl. I knew everybody - it was a small town - but those guys were my heart, and I lived for the time I spent with them. It wasn't until I was older and moved away that I realized just how important they were to me back then. I can honestly say that I am, in a large way, who I am because of them.
I've moved on from that place in my life, and, truthfully, none of them came forward with me. They were all still around for a while, but as the years rolled past .... sooner or later, they were all still in my heart, but not so much in my life. As we all got older and married and established, it was even less. I still think about them from time to time, and it makes me smile! And, though I have moved so far way from that little town, I miss them, and I miss those simple moments of memories. Childhood memories!
And, though bringing them forward into my life would be the equivalent of any given mishap on Edsall Road ..... sometimes, just sometimes, I wish they were still around.
My cup runneth over!
Happy Thanksgiving America!
Kalena Colliding
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