Birthing a Beluga

There's a story in the Bible where Jacob is wrestling with God (or an angel - depends on who's translating the story). They wrestle all night and at dawn his opponent demands to be let go, but Jacob tells Him he won't let go until He blesses him (this is why I personally believe it's God - asking for a blessing from an angel makes no sense to me). Anyway ... that doesn't matter right now .... it's the wrestling part I'm on here (And, I normally tag these with scripture/verse, but I'm not this time. You can trust it's in there in Genesis). Anywho .... decked boldly in a Spiritual singlet, head gear and mat shoes .... I am wrestling with God, and I am not letting go until He blesses me.

The truth is ... God and I have been on the mats for weeks now. Not really sure who's winning, but man oh man, are we ever locking it up. I have fleeced like Gideon. I have challenged like Abraham. I have declared like Job. I have questioned like Moses. I have cried out like Habakkuk. I am down in strength, but my resolve is steadfast. My Spirit is so stirred that I can hardly contain myself!

I am feeling something in this battle I have never felt before. At first I thought it was anger, but it wasn't. Then I thought Spiritual frustration better described it. Alas ... no. Then, I was in the bathroom one morning, getting ready to go somewhere else I had committed to .... when I burst out laughing. Through the thoughts careening through my mind that day .... I came to a dead stand still at the realization of Spiritual Labor Pains. Conveniently acronymmed ... S.L.o.P. !!!!

How re-donk-u-lous-ly appropriate!!!!

Then I began thinking about when I had my son Malcolm, and the 24 hour labor marathon I went through with him. Pain and suffering nearly to delirium, only to, not only feel no pain, but have no memory of it either immediately after he was born. Then I came to the agreement with myself that I must be birthing a beluga whale!!!! :0)

God is a big God, and I am wrestling Him for a big blessing ..... He knows the Word he spoke into my heart. I know the Word He spoke into my heart. I am pruned. I am broken. I am on my face. However, doing my best Samson impersonation ...... I wrestle on, and I am NOT letting go until He blesses me ..... too much is at stake to get this close and let go.

Looking to Philippi,

Kalena Grappling

Shakespearean Comic Relief

In every Shakespeare Tragedy, there is an intermission referred to as the Comic Relief. I have many of these in my daily life where something so ridiculous happens in the middle of my comedy/tragedy existence that is it re-donk-u-lous!!! True to the intended Shakespearean Way, I had a Mucho Maxine Moment the other day.

I was getting dressed to go to church for something ... not services, but some something. Anyway, I was fully dressed, make up on, hair brushed and getting ready to walk out of my bedroom, when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

:/

Understand that I've lost a few pounds over the past months, and my clothes don't fit exactly the same as they did earlier in the year. For me, the first two places I lose weight are my face and my chest. Well, because of the latter, I now find much more comfort wearing undershirts that have a shelf bra, like I had on on the day in reference. Welllllllll ........ my reflection in the mirror was most telling. Not really sure what I actually looked like, but here's what I saw:

My chichis had disappeared, and I was in desperate need of some upper ab work!!!!!!

What the heck?

Laughing Out Loud from the streets of Sag City,

Kalena Re-dressing

When Worlds Collide

Here in Northern Virginia, we have two major freeways. I-495 encircles Washington DC and I-95 is the Eastern Seaboard corridor for travelers. We spend a lot of time stuck in some kind of traffic back here, but there's this one exit - Edsall Road - that seems to be a point of unforeseen conflict for many drivers. There is at least one major accident nearly every week at that interchange. I wonder sometimes how - when everyone knows how often this happens - this continues to be a conflicted junction in folks' lives, but tonight my thoughts are not on Edsall Road, my thoughts are on life in general. Edsall Road is merely my visual.

I have a full life. I am happily married, have two awesome, intelligent and gorgeous boys, a perfect dog, great house, come and go when I please, and am blessed beyond measure that I don't have to work and can enjoy my children growing up. My guest list is full of names and I have people around me who love me beyond measure. The crazy thing is that in this fullness and abundance, every now and then, one of my childhood friends comes into my heart and the fullness I am so thankful for echoes of hollowness.

When I was growing up, Ozzie and Harriet and The Brady Bunch were the big happy family shows on TV. And, as a child it was a dream to think that our house could ever be filled with the love and understanding so undeniably visible on those shows. Our house was a train wreck, always waiting on the next locomotive to come barreling down the track and slam it again. We never seemed to get the wreckage cleared, before another hazmat spill poured on top. It was a nightmare!

My escape from the ugliness was found in my friends at school. However, it worked out, most of my friends were guys. Missey was my best friend and we were everywhere together all of the time, but she was pretty much the only girl. I knew everybody - it was a small town - but those guys were my heart, and I lived for the time I spent with them. It wasn't until I was older and moved away that I realized just how important they were to me back then. I can honestly say that I am, in a large way, who I am because of them.

I've moved on from that place in my life, and, truthfully, none of them came forward with me. They were all still around for a while, but as the years rolled past .... sooner or later, they were all still in my heart, but not so much in my life. As we all got older and married and established, it was even less. I still think about them from time to time, and it makes me smile! And, though I have moved so far way from that little town, I miss them, and I miss those simple moments of memories. Childhood memories!

And, though bringing them forward into my life would be the equivalent of any given mishap on Edsall Road ..... sometimes, just sometimes, I wish they were still around.

My cup runneth over!

Happy Thanksgiving America!

Kalena Colliding

WRITE You Are!!!

Oh my Blog buddies ....

I had every intention of jumping on my spot and burning out some jammin' posts this year.

Alas .... not so.

I have been crazy busy designing t-shirts for my zazzle storefront, and have trecked into the deeper moments of writing. "Pray Before Reading" and "Salvation's Heart" are in definitive process, and I hope to have one before a publisher by year's end. Pray with me to meet my unseemly time line!

Much Love,

Kalena Booking

When Nothing Else Makes Sense .....

THIS DOES