So ..... the final week of the summer season is upon us. I walked outside this morning to an extremely autumnal 55 degrees adorning my Pensacola hoodie!!!!! LOVE IT!
This is my favorite time of year. We're in September ball with Yankees, and NFL kicks off next Thursday night! Life is good for folks like me! Added excitement this year is seeing BOTH of my boys suiting up for Saturdays on the Grid Iron!!!!! I can't explain it. There's just something about watching my sons do these things that boys do that makes my heart fill with love for them! And, rest assured, I will be blowing up my FB photo albums!!!
Of course, the end of summer also means the beginning of another school year! Back to school nights this week, and first day on Tuesday! As much as I have cherished every minute of this summer with the boys, I am actually embracing the time I will be apart from them. The school year always gives me time to regroup, refresh and re-energize for the next summer. I actually love these 180 days. I am thankful for the time I have during the week to be by myself and do things that I enjoy doing without having to be on "Mom Duty", or doing nothing at all and enjoying the silence. I adore my "Mom Duties", but I desperately need my "Kalena" time to be the best Mom I can be.
The biggest part of my regrouping and refreshing processes come with the re-opening of my beloved HeBrewS Cafe. It's a seasonal cafe open during the school year only. It's a simple thing really, but it is absolutely the greatest part of my Spiritual growth throughout the year! My beautiful friend Lisa and I have the most divine Tuesday lunches with the Lord ..... learning, loving, growing and sharing our lives with our ever present Father. Our Tuesdays are some of the most phenomenal church small group sessions ever!!!! Coffee and a danish taste heavenly when shared over the Bible!
Happily, it is also during this time that "Kalena Calls" goes back through the airwaves, which is my personal phone ministry that I share with some of the most wonderful Godly women I know. All of us broken and flawed, admittedly imperfect, but seeking God with fullness of heart everyday.
This season also brings a most welcomed professional change for me, as well. Expanding the tent of my creative heart for the benefit of many to the Glory of God! Looking to the horizon with grand vision and great expectation for success on multiple levels. My dreams and goals are ever attainable and my passion is ignited. The future is full of promise and my heart is firmly fixed on the One who is the Author and Finisher of my future and my faith in it!!!
Praying for Ciera!
Kalena in Season
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
The Traveler'sGift
So, I finished my second book by Andy Andrews last week - The Traveler's Gift.
What an AWESOME read!
I just wanted to take a minute tonight and share the points that I find to be the greatest points from the text - points that can help ALL of us grow in our walk with God and our desires to be closer to Him.
The just of the story is that the main character finds himself down on his luck - the final straw in his downward spiral is losing his job - creating in him a spirit of total loss, feeling like he is an embarrassment and worthless, failing at everything, to include failing to take care of his wife and daughter. As a result, he crashes his car into a tree. When he comes to, he has begun this magnificent journey. A journey consisting of seven visits, seven strangers and seven decisions that determine personal success.
1st Decision - The buck stops here! Determine to accept responsibility for every aspect of your life, good or bad, right or wrong. There is no one else to blame for your actions and choices!
2nd Decision - Seek wisdom! A wise man cultivates a servant's spirit and guards his associations wisely! Wisdom is waiting to be found!
3rd Decision - Be a person of action! Do what is right, because it is the right thing to do! When faced with the choice of doing something or doing nothing, choose to do something!
4th Decision - Have a decided heart! Indecision limits God's ability to perform miracles through my life! He has given me a vision, and I will pursue it passionately!
5th Decision - Choose to be happy! Life is a privilege, but to live life to its fullest is a choice! God has bestowed upon me many gifts, so I will remember to be grateful and choose to be happy with where I am.
6th Decision - Choose to forgive! Forgiveness is the secret key to dissipating anger and resentment, but is only of value when it is given away! Those who have wronged me in the past are forgiven! Those who scoff at my vision, dreams and goals for the future are forgiven. It is not their fault they cannot grasp the importance of the vision God has given me. Third, and most importantly, I forgive myself! By forgiving myself, I erase doubts, fears and frustrations that have kept my past in my present! My history ceases to control my destiny!
7th Decision - Persist without exception! I am a person of great faith! Faith has no limits, because the God in whom my faith is placed has no limits! I will believe in the future that I do not see, until I see the future I believe in. I am a person of GREAT faith!!!!
In addition to these 7 Decisions, I will pay it forward and look back to bring people forward into their own success stories, as well. I love when God uses simple words in a simple text to show life altering meaning. God met me right where I needed Him, like He always does, with this book. I read it last Monday, after my tumultuous Spiritual battles last weekend!!!!!
I definitely recommend this book for anyone who's Spirit is looking for another step forward out into the unknown abyss of faith!!!!!
Much Love!
Kalena Deciding
What an AWESOME read!
I just wanted to take a minute tonight and share the points that I find to be the greatest points from the text - points that can help ALL of us grow in our walk with God and our desires to be closer to Him.
The just of the story is that the main character finds himself down on his luck - the final straw in his downward spiral is losing his job - creating in him a spirit of total loss, feeling like he is an embarrassment and worthless, failing at everything, to include failing to take care of his wife and daughter. As a result, he crashes his car into a tree. When he comes to, he has begun this magnificent journey. A journey consisting of seven visits, seven strangers and seven decisions that determine personal success.
1st Decision - The buck stops here! Determine to accept responsibility for every aspect of your life, good or bad, right or wrong. There is no one else to blame for your actions and choices!
2nd Decision - Seek wisdom! A wise man cultivates a servant's spirit and guards his associations wisely! Wisdom is waiting to be found!
3rd Decision - Be a person of action! Do what is right, because it is the right thing to do! When faced with the choice of doing something or doing nothing, choose to do something!
4th Decision - Have a decided heart! Indecision limits God's ability to perform miracles through my life! He has given me a vision, and I will pursue it passionately!
5th Decision - Choose to be happy! Life is a privilege, but to live life to its fullest is a choice! God has bestowed upon me many gifts, so I will remember to be grateful and choose to be happy with where I am.
6th Decision - Choose to forgive! Forgiveness is the secret key to dissipating anger and resentment, but is only of value when it is given away! Those who have wronged me in the past are forgiven! Those who scoff at my vision, dreams and goals for the future are forgiven. It is not their fault they cannot grasp the importance of the vision God has given me. Third, and most importantly, I forgive myself! By forgiving myself, I erase doubts, fears and frustrations that have kept my past in my present! My history ceases to control my destiny!
7th Decision - Persist without exception! I am a person of great faith! Faith has no limits, because the God in whom my faith is placed has no limits! I will believe in the future that I do not see, until I see the future I believe in. I am a person of GREAT faith!!!!
In addition to these 7 Decisions, I will pay it forward and look back to bring people forward into their own success stories, as well. I love when God uses simple words in a simple text to show life altering meaning. God met me right where I needed Him, like He always does, with this book. I read it last Monday, after my tumultuous Spiritual battles last weekend!!!!!
I definitely recommend this book for anyone who's Spirit is looking for another step forward out into the unknown abyss of faith!!!!!
Much Love!
Kalena Deciding
Monday, August 24, 2009
Resolve
Man ..... am I ever going through it tonight!!!!!
SAND BURN! (This only makes sense if you've read my posts from yesterday)
As I said, I love the moments alone with God! In honesty though, I don't like the stretching, and tonight I feel like Mr Fantastic or Elastigirl from the Incredibles!
In a nutshell .....
My Story .....
Growing up in our house was never without its drama. Many times I have noted that I was angry A LOT in those days. On the rare occasion that I actually reflect back, it's amazing to me that I lived to be 42 years old. Parental guidance was conflicted in our house, and many times it felt as though we were raising ourselves. That, in itself, explains a lot about my personality. The rest is explained in the character of my parents. My mom was a devout Christian - making sure we were raised in church, always reading her Bible, praying more times than I can count and was submitted to my dad to a fault. Now, what she prayed, why she prayed or how she prayed, I do not know. Dad was an alcoholic, a scoundrel and a tyrant - with no affiliation to church or God at all. In all my living with him, I only saw my dad drunk three times, but I NEVER saw him sober. His days began in the morning with Crown Royal and ended at night with a Miller High Life pony. Alas, these were my role models, and the Spiritual Battles that ensued because of their faiths, or lack there of, wreaked daily havoc on the lives of all of us kids. Hence my anger.
What I escaped from their house with caused years of turmoil in my own life. Never having been taught the dangers of drinking or the power of prayer, I drank myself into a lot a really bad moments, to include jail on my 27th birthday, and offered up some ridiculous prayers on the chance that God would actually answer them and get me out of trouble ...... again and again. Not having enough knowledge to know that if I prayed first, I could have avoided the situations I kept finding myself in.
Tonight, I have met my resolve.
Growing up in church, Preacher Carter always talked about the Power of God and how God is in Control. NOT IN OUR HOUSE! Daddy was in control of that circus ..... trust! Many times in services, he would talk about fearing the Lord. Never knew what it meant, but I didn't like the sound of that, either. Now, you understand, I was saved. I had full knowledge that Jesus died for me. Came into that knowledge when I was 11, and never doubted it. What I knew was that Jesus loved me, so me and Jesus were OK. BUT ..... God on the other hand ..... God was the judger, and I had enough of that in the hell we lived in between Sundays. No thanks! So I lived clinging to the cross and not much else for a long time.
What I know tonight is that with ALL of the Christians I know, or have known in my life, my Dad has had the biggest impact on my walk with God ..... more so than any of them. This explains exactly why it took 22 years before I realized that receiving salvation and making Jesus Lord of my life weren't the same thing. It explains exactly why my twenties are a blur of night clubs, drinking and parties. It explains exactly why my life was continuously upside down. I escaped from the hell I was comfortable with and went out in to the big bad world totally unprepared for anything. I was angry at my parents, angry at our family for not even attempting to help and I was angry at God for allowing my life to be what it was. In the earthly view, God had no authority in our house, and He definitely wasn't in charge of anything. So, when I got out on my own, I had little to no experience of the love of God and didn't know enough to even want to go to Him when I should have. More than anything else, it was the "Fear the Lord" thing. I knew what fear was. I had lived in it every day of my life, and had NO desire to voluntarily agree to it continuing. As a child, I had no choice. As an adult, I did, and I wasn't having it.
Sitting here right now, I find myself in conflict. There is an overwhelming urge to pick up the phone and call Daddy, even Mom, but mostly Dad, and cuss him out for everything. Give him the what for - letting him know that ALL of my crap really belongs to him. I choose not to.
I have no idea why God ever allowed all those days of hopelessness to persist in our house. I have no idea why the ugliness had to get even uglier before it ended, and why God allowed us kids to have to go through all of the pain, fear and suffering that we did. Coming into the epiphany I had tonight, I'm not sure I want to know.
Here is what I have resolved in my heart ..... God knew before He ever sent me here what my life would be. I also believe that I, too, knew. The Bible says before God formed me in the womb, He knew me. The Bible also tells us that ALL creation was completed in Genesis. I wasn't born until 1966, so I believe I knew Him, too. The reason I was so willing to come here into this family is because I agreed in the presence of the Lord, where Unconditional Love abounds. Because there was no question that God loved me, there was no concern that He would send me in harm's way. As a created being of God, before being born, I had no knowledge of what living here would actually be, so my trust in God and His goodness assured me that I would be ok. It wasn't until I was actually away from the tangible presence of God that I faltered. (I know these are deep waters, and I will cover them in a later blog; but, I needed to touch on them for a moment in this story). Now that I have come back to God's Unconditional Love, I know again, that I will be ok. It started with God, and it will end with Him.
I have resolved that if it took all of those years of unhappiness to bring me to where I am today, it was all worth it; and, I would live it all over again - THE SAME WAY - to get to where I am with God! Because, I am with God! I may not understand all of it, but I am not lost! I can live my life under a solid woah is me, or I can learn and grow and move forward. I refuse to be a victim of those childhood circumstances. Instead, I choose to allow those times to make me stronger and better than I have been in days before. And, now, when thinking about Daddy and all of those fearful, painful sad days .....
Having the realization that our Jesus died on that Cross by the hand of God - nothing that I can think of makes holding on to the bad worth it. How could I ever believe it would be ok to look the Lord in His face and say "but, you don't know what my daddy did to me" .....
In Resolution,
Kalena Smiles
SAND BURN! (This only makes sense if you've read my posts from yesterday)
As I said, I love the moments alone with God! In honesty though, I don't like the stretching, and tonight I feel like Mr Fantastic or Elastigirl from the Incredibles!
In a nutshell .....
My Story .....
Growing up in our house was never without its drama. Many times I have noted that I was angry A LOT in those days. On the rare occasion that I actually reflect back, it's amazing to me that I lived to be 42 years old. Parental guidance was conflicted in our house, and many times it felt as though we were raising ourselves. That, in itself, explains a lot about my personality. The rest is explained in the character of my parents. My mom was a devout Christian - making sure we were raised in church, always reading her Bible, praying more times than I can count and was submitted to my dad to a fault. Now, what she prayed, why she prayed or how she prayed, I do not know. Dad was an alcoholic, a scoundrel and a tyrant - with no affiliation to church or God at all. In all my living with him, I only saw my dad drunk three times, but I NEVER saw him sober. His days began in the morning with Crown Royal and ended at night with a Miller High Life pony. Alas, these were my role models, and the Spiritual Battles that ensued because of their faiths, or lack there of, wreaked daily havoc on the lives of all of us kids. Hence my anger.
What I escaped from their house with caused years of turmoil in my own life. Never having been taught the dangers of drinking or the power of prayer, I drank myself into a lot a really bad moments, to include jail on my 27th birthday, and offered up some ridiculous prayers on the chance that God would actually answer them and get me out of trouble ...... again and again. Not having enough knowledge to know that if I prayed first, I could have avoided the situations I kept finding myself in.
Tonight, I have met my resolve.
Growing up in church, Preacher Carter always talked about the Power of God and how God is in Control. NOT IN OUR HOUSE! Daddy was in control of that circus ..... trust! Many times in services, he would talk about fearing the Lord. Never knew what it meant, but I didn't like the sound of that, either. Now, you understand, I was saved. I had full knowledge that Jesus died for me. Came into that knowledge when I was 11, and never doubted it. What I knew was that Jesus loved me, so me and Jesus were OK. BUT ..... God on the other hand ..... God was the judger, and I had enough of that in the hell we lived in between Sundays. No thanks! So I lived clinging to the cross and not much else for a long time.
What I know tonight is that with ALL of the Christians I know, or have known in my life, my Dad has had the biggest impact on my walk with God ..... more so than any of them. This explains exactly why it took 22 years before I realized that receiving salvation and making Jesus Lord of my life weren't the same thing. It explains exactly why my twenties are a blur of night clubs, drinking and parties. It explains exactly why my life was continuously upside down. I escaped from the hell I was comfortable with and went out in to the big bad world totally unprepared for anything. I was angry at my parents, angry at our family for not even attempting to help and I was angry at God for allowing my life to be what it was. In the earthly view, God had no authority in our house, and He definitely wasn't in charge of anything. So, when I got out on my own, I had little to no experience of the love of God and didn't know enough to even want to go to Him when I should have. More than anything else, it was the "Fear the Lord" thing. I knew what fear was. I had lived in it every day of my life, and had NO desire to voluntarily agree to it continuing. As a child, I had no choice. As an adult, I did, and I wasn't having it.
Sitting here right now, I find myself in conflict. There is an overwhelming urge to pick up the phone and call Daddy, even Mom, but mostly Dad, and cuss him out for everything. Give him the what for - letting him know that ALL of my crap really belongs to him. I choose not to.
I have no idea why God ever allowed all those days of hopelessness to persist in our house. I have no idea why the ugliness had to get even uglier before it ended, and why God allowed us kids to have to go through all of the pain, fear and suffering that we did. Coming into the epiphany I had tonight, I'm not sure I want to know.
Here is what I have resolved in my heart ..... God knew before He ever sent me here what my life would be. I also believe that I, too, knew. The Bible says before God formed me in the womb, He knew me. The Bible also tells us that ALL creation was completed in Genesis. I wasn't born until 1966, so I believe I knew Him, too. The reason I was so willing to come here into this family is because I agreed in the presence of the Lord, where Unconditional Love abounds. Because there was no question that God loved me, there was no concern that He would send me in harm's way. As a created being of God, before being born, I had no knowledge of what living here would actually be, so my trust in God and His goodness assured me that I would be ok. It wasn't until I was actually away from the tangible presence of God that I faltered. (I know these are deep waters, and I will cover them in a later blog; but, I needed to touch on them for a moment in this story). Now that I have come back to God's Unconditional Love, I know again, that I will be ok. It started with God, and it will end with Him.
I have resolved that if it took all of those years of unhappiness to bring me to where I am today, it was all worth it; and, I would live it all over again - THE SAME WAY - to get to where I am with God! Because, I am with God! I may not understand all of it, but I am not lost! I can live my life under a solid woah is me, or I can learn and grow and move forward. I refuse to be a victim of those childhood circumstances. Instead, I choose to allow those times to make me stronger and better than I have been in days before. And, now, when thinking about Daddy and all of those fearful, painful sad days .....
Having the realization that our Jesus died on that Cross by the hand of God - nothing that I can think of makes holding on to the bad worth it. How could I ever believe it would be ok to look the Lord in His face and say "but, you don't know what my daddy did to me" .....
In Resolution,
Kalena Smiles
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Vantage Point
I saw the movie "Vantage Point" some time ago. What I found most interesting about the movie is the truth that came from realizing how multiple people can look at the same thing and see something entirely different from each other. With that in mind, I'm going to tell you a story - a true story - but ... I'm going to add a different vantage point at the end.
Growing up with my Dad was no easy task. Dysfunctional on good days and hell on the bad! However, this story is about the ONE MOMENT in time when my Dad was my hero!
Although my hometown is Pensacola, I have lived most of my life away from the Sugar White sands of the Gulf Coast. When I was a kid, my family always managed to make our way home at least once a year - mostly in the summer, but on an occasional holiday, as well. In my teenage years, we gravitated away from Pensacola east to Destin. One of my favorite places on the Gulf Coast is the Holidome located immediately on the beach, complete with indoor/outdoor pools, a gym, awesome continental breakfast. Everything you would want a hotel to be, including a revolving restaurant on the top floor of the dome.
In the summer of 1985, my family stayed there for a week. Life was good! On the day of this story, my younger sister and I were laying in the sun on the deck that led to the beach, in the back of the hotel. Some guy - some drunk guy - OK, some really drunk guy came walking up the boardwalk towards where we were at. It was no mystery just exactly how drunk he was, because had wet his pants and was drinking Jack Daniels out of a glass bottle that had the top broken off.
We saw him coming, but neither of us expected him to stagger all the way to where we were and practically fall on top of my sister. We kind of jumped out of the way and walked away from him. He was saying something - don't really remember what, but something perverse. Before we knew what was fully happening, my Dad came bolting out of the hotel and dealt with the man in a way only a Daddy can over his girls.
No matter what else had happened up to that moment in my life, and regardless of what has happened since ..... for that single moment in time, MY DAD WAS A HERO!!! HE WAS MY HERO!!! He was everything every little girl dreams about in her Daddy!
Enter the Twist ... The Rest of The Story ... The End of the Story
The reason Dad got out the door of the hotel so quickly is because he had been occupying his time by drinking inside the hotel, and the bar was right beside the beach access. After he helped us collect our things, our entire family retired to our rooms, with my sister and I receiving an onslaught of verbal abuse about how the whole incident was our fault for wearing our suits and tanning. Something about what did we expect would happen when we showing our bodies to drunk men? WHATEVER!
Truth is ... there are a thousand of these stories from my life. Stories that, though they have good moments indicating a happy childhood, always ended with the proverbial "other shoe" dropping. There was always a catch or a consequence! The problem is that these stories have laid the framework for who I am and carved the mindset I took into early adulthood. Looking back, the damage I see now is the same damage I saw then.
ENTER GRACE .....
Is it really important to my story that my Dad was drinking in the middle of the afternoon on a family vacation with his wife and four kids? Is it really important to my story that I was accused of things I knew weren't true? Is it really important to my story that Daddy tried to make me believe it was my fault some man, I did not even know, got drunk, wet his pants and nearly fell on me and my sister? Even then, I knew I was the victim of circumstance, if you will.
What if I CHOOSE to change my vantage point on this and every other story like it? What if I CHOOSE to pull out all the bad - not deny it - and only focus on those moments that brought joy into my life? I shudder to imagine the positive impact this could have on my life. The positive impact this could have on the lives of those around me. Not changing my testimony, you understand, but changing my vantage point; so, that those who hear my story will be shown a better way out of their own personal hell, and, hopefully, won't have to lose 24 years of their own life searching for the way out. What if?
So, on that day in 1985, my Dad was my hero!!!! And, that's all I'm gonna say about that!
Much Love,
Kalena Choosing
Growing up with my Dad was no easy task. Dysfunctional on good days and hell on the bad! However, this story is about the ONE MOMENT in time when my Dad was my hero!
Although my hometown is Pensacola, I have lived most of my life away from the Sugar White sands of the Gulf Coast. When I was a kid, my family always managed to make our way home at least once a year - mostly in the summer, but on an occasional holiday, as well. In my teenage years, we gravitated away from Pensacola east to Destin. One of my favorite places on the Gulf Coast is the Holidome located immediately on the beach, complete with indoor/outdoor pools, a gym, awesome continental breakfast. Everything you would want a hotel to be, including a revolving restaurant on the top floor of the dome.
In the summer of 1985, my family stayed there for a week. Life was good! On the day of this story, my younger sister and I were laying in the sun on the deck that led to the beach, in the back of the hotel. Some guy - some drunk guy - OK, some really drunk guy came walking up the boardwalk towards where we were at. It was no mystery just exactly how drunk he was, because had wet his pants and was drinking Jack Daniels out of a glass bottle that had the top broken off.
We saw him coming, but neither of us expected him to stagger all the way to where we were and practically fall on top of my sister. We kind of jumped out of the way and walked away from him. He was saying something - don't really remember what, but something perverse. Before we knew what was fully happening, my Dad came bolting out of the hotel and dealt with the man in a way only a Daddy can over his girls.
No matter what else had happened up to that moment in my life, and regardless of what has happened since ..... for that single moment in time, MY DAD WAS A HERO!!! HE WAS MY HERO!!! He was everything every little girl dreams about in her Daddy!
Enter the Twist ... The Rest of The Story ... The End of the Story
The reason Dad got out the door of the hotel so quickly is because he had been occupying his time by drinking inside the hotel, and the bar was right beside the beach access. After he helped us collect our things, our entire family retired to our rooms, with my sister and I receiving an onslaught of verbal abuse about how the whole incident was our fault for wearing our suits and tanning. Something about what did we expect would happen when we showing our bodies to drunk men? WHATEVER!
Truth is ... there are a thousand of these stories from my life. Stories that, though they have good moments indicating a happy childhood, always ended with the proverbial "other shoe" dropping. There was always a catch or a consequence! The problem is that these stories have laid the framework for who I am and carved the mindset I took into early adulthood. Looking back, the damage I see now is the same damage I saw then.
ENTER GRACE .....
Is it really important to my story that my Dad was drinking in the middle of the afternoon on a family vacation with his wife and four kids? Is it really important to my story that I was accused of things I knew weren't true? Is it really important to my story that Daddy tried to make me believe it was my fault some man, I did not even know, got drunk, wet his pants and nearly fell on me and my sister? Even then, I knew I was the victim of circumstance, if you will.
What if I CHOOSE to change my vantage point on this and every other story like it? What if I CHOOSE to pull out all the bad - not deny it - and only focus on those moments that brought joy into my life? I shudder to imagine the positive impact this could have on my life. The positive impact this could have on the lives of those around me. Not changing my testimony, you understand, but changing my vantage point; so, that those who hear my story will be shown a better way out of their own personal hell, and, hopefully, won't have to lose 24 years of their own life searching for the way out. What if?
So, on that day in 1985, my Dad was my hero!!!! And, that's all I'm gonna say about that!
Much Love,
Kalena Choosing
Crossroads
What would you do if you woke up one morning and realized everything you thought you knew about God was, at the least, misunderstood, or, even more frightening, completely wrong? I find myself at just this junction in life, praying wholeheartedly for simple misunderstanding - yet coming into full realization that more than likely - the vast majority of my understanding fails to line up with what the Scriptures ACTUALLY say.
Yet - I stand in the face of this controversial shift - UNAFRAID!!!!!
Of this, I am sure - Jesus is the only begotten Son of God, born of a virgin, died on Calvary's Cross for my sins, arose from the grave on the third day, and now sits at the right hand of our Heavenly Father. More over, some day in the near, or distant, future will return in full visible manifestation as Lord of Lords and King of Kings to rule this world for eternity! In Earth as In Heaven, as the prayer reads.
That is where my certainty ends!
I find myself often times standing alone in the desert with God suffering through the sand burn of pruning, stretching and growing! As beautiful as these moments alone with Him always are, they leave me much frustrated comparing the way things are to the ways things should be. Though they leave Spiritually explosive, I find myself physically exhausted. Though the fullness of grace and mercy abound, my tolerance for things ungodly is severely decreased.
So, I pose the question, what is to be of the Children of God who seek to be 1st Century Christians in this era of time? I cannot bring myself to believe that this life, though fleeting, serves no purpose but to carry us to the hereafter. The Bible says that Eternal Life is knowing God and the Son whom He sent (that's red letter New Testament text from the Garden of Gethsemane, John 17:3). The Apostle Paul tells us that The Kingdom of God is righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17).
With that said - what are we waiting for? Heaven? Eternity? The Rapture? According to those two scriptures alone - those of us who have received God's gift of Salvation have already come into Eternal Life. It is Here and NOW!!!!! The Kingdom of God is already here - in this life - the Holy Spirit alive in us!!!!! How are we taking care of it? Sitting around talking about when the Lord returns or getting in the dregs and walking it out?
How would we change our view of this life if we ever fully came into the realization that our Eternity began at Salvation? As opposed to believing the misconception that all of this is going to go away when Jesus returns, so it doesn't really matter? If the plan of God truly is to restore man unto Himself, restore man unto each other and restore creation - which I believe it is - then we need to look at things from an eternal perspective. The restoration process began 2000 years ago on Calvary and will continue until the coming of our Lord. It is our turn to take up the cross and carry it forward. Not merely for the saving of souls - the Bible is very clear that only God has the power to save anyone - more over by walking as the redeemed children of God - projecting His love in a way that those who see will open themselves up to Him to receive His Son.
Life is a movie, taken from The Greatest Story Ever Told!!!! What we must face individually, and collectively, is that it is not about us! It never has been! That it not to say that to God it's not about me or you or us! Because it is! He loves nothing better than to be with each of us every single second of every single day! He wants to be with us! In relationship and love - the way things were in the Garden before the fall! What I'm saying here, for example - is that to me, it can NEVER be about me, not what I say, not what I do. To me it has to be ALL about Him - no compromise, no negotiation! The way I live that is by making it about everyone else around me! My life is God's story, and I am a supporting actress character, at best!
EVERYTHING WE DO ON THIS EARTH MATTERS!!!! (It matters now, and it will matter through out eternity!)
One of the most beautiful things about coming to this place with God, is that there is a freedom that comes through Jesus and the Holy Spirit that is a scary thing. Fear flees! To approach life as a fearless child of the One True Living God is a dangerous thing!!!!! Because, you truly come to a place where you genuinely DO NOT CARE what the world thinks or says! And you will stand in the face of adversity without waivering and take it head on! UNAFRAID!
God is, and nothing can lead you away from that fact!
His truth is the only truth, and there is no compromise!
Jesus came, and He is coming back!
I am settled on these truths, so I seek the journey ahead with fear and trembling; because, I know my God is leading the way. He is Powerful! He is Awesome! His love for me is unending, and He will guide me into His perfect will for my place in His life!!!
From the Desert of Truth,
Kalena Learns
Yet - I stand in the face of this controversial shift - UNAFRAID!!!!!
Of this, I am sure - Jesus is the only begotten Son of God, born of a virgin, died on Calvary's Cross for my sins, arose from the grave on the third day, and now sits at the right hand of our Heavenly Father. More over, some day in the near, or distant, future will return in full visible manifestation as Lord of Lords and King of Kings to rule this world for eternity! In Earth as In Heaven, as the prayer reads.
That is where my certainty ends!
I find myself often times standing alone in the desert with God suffering through the sand burn of pruning, stretching and growing! As beautiful as these moments alone with Him always are, they leave me much frustrated comparing the way things are to the ways things should be. Though they leave Spiritually explosive, I find myself physically exhausted. Though the fullness of grace and mercy abound, my tolerance for things ungodly is severely decreased.
So, I pose the question, what is to be of the Children of God who seek to be 1st Century Christians in this era of time? I cannot bring myself to believe that this life, though fleeting, serves no purpose but to carry us to the hereafter. The Bible says that Eternal Life is knowing God and the Son whom He sent (that's red letter New Testament text from the Garden of Gethsemane, John 17:3). The Apostle Paul tells us that The Kingdom of God is righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17).
With that said - what are we waiting for? Heaven? Eternity? The Rapture? According to those two scriptures alone - those of us who have received God's gift of Salvation have already come into Eternal Life. It is Here and NOW!!!!! The Kingdom of God is already here - in this life - the Holy Spirit alive in us!!!!! How are we taking care of it? Sitting around talking about when the Lord returns or getting in the dregs and walking it out?
How would we change our view of this life if we ever fully came into the realization that our Eternity began at Salvation? As opposed to believing the misconception that all of this is going to go away when Jesus returns, so it doesn't really matter? If the plan of God truly is to restore man unto Himself, restore man unto each other and restore creation - which I believe it is - then we need to look at things from an eternal perspective. The restoration process began 2000 years ago on Calvary and will continue until the coming of our Lord. It is our turn to take up the cross and carry it forward. Not merely for the saving of souls - the Bible is very clear that only God has the power to save anyone - more over by walking as the redeemed children of God - projecting His love in a way that those who see will open themselves up to Him to receive His Son.
Life is a movie, taken from The Greatest Story Ever Told!!!! What we must face individually, and collectively, is that it is not about us! It never has been! That it not to say that to God it's not about me or you or us! Because it is! He loves nothing better than to be with each of us every single second of every single day! He wants to be with us! In relationship and love - the way things were in the Garden before the fall! What I'm saying here, for example - is that to me, it can NEVER be about me, not what I say, not what I do. To me it has to be ALL about Him - no compromise, no negotiation! The way I live that is by making it about everyone else around me! My life is God's story, and I am a supporting actress character, at best!
EVERYTHING WE DO ON THIS EARTH MATTERS!!!! (It matters now, and it will matter through out eternity!)
One of the most beautiful things about coming to this place with God, is that there is a freedom that comes through Jesus and the Holy Spirit that is a scary thing. Fear flees! To approach life as a fearless child of the One True Living God is a dangerous thing!!!!! Because, you truly come to a place where you genuinely DO NOT CARE what the world thinks or says! And you will stand in the face of adversity without waivering and take it head on! UNAFRAID!
God is, and nothing can lead you away from that fact!
His truth is the only truth, and there is no compromise!
Jesus came, and He is coming back!
I am settled on these truths, so I seek the journey ahead with fear and trembling; because, I know my God is leading the way. He is Powerful! He is Awesome! His love for me is unending, and He will guide me into His perfect will for my place in His life!!!
From the Desert of Truth,
Kalena Learns
Sunday, August 16, 2009
In Simon's Shadow
So, I have spent a great part of today thinking about my life ..... where I've been ..... where I'm going ..... what the heck I'm doing. And, it occurred to me that WHO I am is the most important aspect of all of these things. Loud, Eccentric, A Type personality ..... completely full of myself. Somewhere in my revelatory moments I realized just how much I love Simon Peter. Much like me, he is the greatest Biblical example of "Open Mouth, Insert Foot" kind of guy around. I wondered for a minute if Jesus actually laughed out loud that night in the garden knowing that Peter's dying declaration was full of passion but a zero bust on follow through. I can kind of imagine a hardy gafaw that the Gospels so lovingly left from their texts to minimize the humility of what was to come. Amazingly, this is the one account of Simon Peter's interacting with the Lord that is covered in ALL FOUR Gospels. Peter walked on water, and only Matthew gave note to mention it, but NO ONE missed this monumental fall of Peter. We love Simon Peter, much like Jesus does; because, it is very easy to understand the heart's desire to be "All In" for our Jesus, and, at the same time, know the heartache of falling short.
I had the good fortune of meeting Simon Peter some years ago. In 1986, actually, I was blessed to sit in his company and listen to him talk in the most remarkable way about our Lord and what it was like to walk with Him and talk with Him ..... just to be in His presence. I have always figured Jesus to be a common looking kind of man, somebody who just could fit in with the crowd in Jerusalem, not some runway model with strikingly good looks. More of a man who became more attractive as you got to know Him. On that day, however, my heart took me far away from the boat we were on to a place where the Bible came alive and opened herself up to me so I could see. My Jesus was beautiful in every way I could think of. So deeply I wished it were me that had walked with Jesus and could talk about Him like that. So passionately I did not want that moment to end.
In truth, the beginning of my life being turned upside down had just begun. My parents had uprooted all of us kids from the town we had grown up in, our home, our church, leaving all friends, relationships, everything behind. There was anger and bitterness and ugliness everywhere. I was angry all the time, and there was nothing I could do about it; because, I was a kid. I wasn't in charge of anything, but was reaping a consequence of someone else's choices.
As always, God showed up to carry us kids through a part of our journey no one else wanted. He came to us that year through Brother Roy Chewning, who was the temporal Pastor at the church most of our family went to. Brother Chewning was different from any other pastor I had ever known, because he taught us through the most peculiar ways that we could actually have FUN in our loving the Lord and still be loving our Lord. A thing I had never even given thought to. Church was serious business and there was no place for fun, as far as I knew. Brother Chewning opened a Spiritual door for me, I have never allowed to close. My blessed encounter with Peter was cast by the hands of this man. On that particular day, he chartered a fishing boat over in Perdido Key for our Youth Group. We all loaded in the vans at Klondike Baptist and road for what seemed an eternity ( I remember singing that song "On My Own" by Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonald), got out and climbed on to this smelly fishing boat and sat down. OK ..... we were going for a boat ride. Cool enough! I HAD NO IDEA just how cool this boat ride was about to become.
Not long after we all sat down in our little school circle, out walked this remarkable looking man, dressed in first century attire, with an air of almost floating across the deck of the boat. And, he was a BIG guy .... broad shouldered, solid weight guy! When he situated himself in the middle of our half circle and looked up to begin speaking, he appearance became even more mezmorizing because one of his eyes was silverish white. He was captivating to look at, and, strangely, he didn't seem at all out of place in that cloak. BUT ..... when he began speaking ..... I completely lost touch with time and reality. His words about our Lord and the relationship he had with Him carried me across continents and through time, and I - Karen Elaine Johnson - I was truly on the Sea of Galilee, lost in the words of this man who had lived with my Lord and loved Him in a way I had never heard of. I couldn't tell you how long he talked, and I don't even remember what he said anymore. All I know is that it was real, and I was there! It wasn't until he finished speaking that I actually regained reality of time and location.
The experience has never left me. Many days in my life I have dreamed to be back on that boat, on our Lord's Sea. Many times I have searched myself to recapture that moment. There have been others since, but none like that day. Yet, I keep searching ..... to get myself to that place God is leading me ..... to have that kind of understanding of His love ..... not to just know that He loves me ..... but to recapture that 1st Generation Christian walk in this 21st Century brokenness ..... to follow in Simon's Shadow, that God will be so clear to people through me that they come into the full understanding of being in relationship with Him just because they hear me speak.
With Much Love .......
Kalena in Kenosis
Today's trailer - I have recently learned that the wonderful man who sat as Simon Peter on that boat that day is Pastor Mike Westbury. In 1986, he served as the Youth Pastor at East Brent Baptist. He has since moved to Texas. It is in my heart to find him just to let him know the impact that afternoon, all those years ago has had on my life.
I had the good fortune of meeting Simon Peter some years ago. In 1986, actually, I was blessed to sit in his company and listen to him talk in the most remarkable way about our Lord and what it was like to walk with Him and talk with Him ..... just to be in His presence. I have always figured Jesus to be a common looking kind of man, somebody who just could fit in with the crowd in Jerusalem, not some runway model with strikingly good looks. More of a man who became more attractive as you got to know Him. On that day, however, my heart took me far away from the boat we were on to a place where the Bible came alive and opened herself up to me so I could see. My Jesus was beautiful in every way I could think of. So deeply I wished it were me that had walked with Jesus and could talk about Him like that. So passionately I did not want that moment to end.
In truth, the beginning of my life being turned upside down had just begun. My parents had uprooted all of us kids from the town we had grown up in, our home, our church, leaving all friends, relationships, everything behind. There was anger and bitterness and ugliness everywhere. I was angry all the time, and there was nothing I could do about it; because, I was a kid. I wasn't in charge of anything, but was reaping a consequence of someone else's choices.
As always, God showed up to carry us kids through a part of our journey no one else wanted. He came to us that year through Brother Roy Chewning, who was the temporal Pastor at the church most of our family went to. Brother Chewning was different from any other pastor I had ever known, because he taught us through the most peculiar ways that we could actually have FUN in our loving the Lord and still be loving our Lord. A thing I had never even given thought to. Church was serious business and there was no place for fun, as far as I knew. Brother Chewning opened a Spiritual door for me, I have never allowed to close. My blessed encounter with Peter was cast by the hands of this man. On that particular day, he chartered a fishing boat over in Perdido Key for our Youth Group. We all loaded in the vans at Klondike Baptist and road for what seemed an eternity ( I remember singing that song "On My Own" by Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonald), got out and climbed on to this smelly fishing boat and sat down. OK ..... we were going for a boat ride. Cool enough! I HAD NO IDEA just how cool this boat ride was about to become.
Not long after we all sat down in our little school circle, out walked this remarkable looking man, dressed in first century attire, with an air of almost floating across the deck of the boat. And, he was a BIG guy .... broad shouldered, solid weight guy! When he situated himself in the middle of our half circle and looked up to begin speaking, he appearance became even more mezmorizing because one of his eyes was silverish white. He was captivating to look at, and, strangely, he didn't seem at all out of place in that cloak. BUT ..... when he began speaking ..... I completely lost touch with time and reality. His words about our Lord and the relationship he had with Him carried me across continents and through time, and I - Karen Elaine Johnson - I was truly on the Sea of Galilee, lost in the words of this man who had lived with my Lord and loved Him in a way I had never heard of. I couldn't tell you how long he talked, and I don't even remember what he said anymore. All I know is that it was real, and I was there! It wasn't until he finished speaking that I actually regained reality of time and location.
The experience has never left me. Many days in my life I have dreamed to be back on that boat, on our Lord's Sea. Many times I have searched myself to recapture that moment. There have been others since, but none like that day. Yet, I keep searching ..... to get myself to that place God is leading me ..... to have that kind of understanding of His love ..... not to just know that He loves me ..... but to recapture that 1st Generation Christian walk in this 21st Century brokenness ..... to follow in Simon's Shadow, that God will be so clear to people through me that they come into the full understanding of being in relationship with Him just because they hear me speak.
With Much Love .......
Kalena in Kenosis
Today's trailer - I have recently learned that the wonderful man who sat as Simon Peter on that boat that day is Pastor Mike Westbury. In 1986, he served as the Youth Pastor at East Brent Baptist. He has since moved to Texas. It is in my heart to find him just to let him know the impact that afternoon, all those years ago has had on my life.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Going Home
Last day in South Florida. It has been another KalenaDia adventure, but I am really looking forward to being back at home. I have found a magnitude of photo ops down here, but will have to return on another day when stop, focus, shoot is more tolerated. Ft Lauderdale is definitely not what I had always imagined. The days of "Spring Break" in Lauderdale obviously reached there apex many years ago. Hollywood is not "all the scene" I heard about growing up either. Down here, these places are cities that happen to be on the beach, as opposed to the peaceful slow paced beach city atmosphere. Miami Beach is nice, but South Beach is by far the most happening place I found. Awesome photography can come out of that little strip as long as you don't mind the occasional fashion faux pas - apparently swim tops are optional and thong bottoms are ALL THE RAGE!! Lots of neon on Ocean Drive and night time is the time to shoot down there. Of course, I was there midday. UGH!
I made it successfully the two hour trip through the Everglades yesterday to find the allusive Sanibel Island the Travel Channel spoke so highly of, just south of Fort Myers. Seashells are in abundance like I have never seen, but, at the end of the day, my sugar white sands on Pensacola make these beaches look like swamp land! However, it still makes my list of things to do with my husband and kids. I mean - the beach is the beach! :)
Although I can say, just like I always do in Pensacola, I walked hand in hand with the Lord yesterday at Sanibel. And, like always happens, He showed up right when I needed Him to. I have had a great time this week, venturing to see things I have never seen, going places I've never been; but it's ok for it to come to an end. When I was in Pensacola with Mark and the boys in June, I prayed for time to stand still and for us to be able to stay there forever. My heart is so alive on that beach, and I smile alot more easily and frequently than I do other times. When the opportunity came to make this trip, I felt very fortunate and extremely excited. Two beach trips in the same summer! Woo! Woo! Yet, I find myself looking forward to the plane ride home tomorrow, more than I than I did the trip itself. Today I find myself even more fortunate that I have my little Mountain Oasis to return to.
So .... the journey continues ......
Kalena The Traveler
And, uh, oh yeah - yesterday on Sanibel, the Lord assured me that He is very fond of Pensacola, also! :)
I made it successfully the two hour trip through the Everglades yesterday to find the allusive Sanibel Island the Travel Channel spoke so highly of, just south of Fort Myers. Seashells are in abundance like I have never seen, but, at the end of the day, my sugar white sands on Pensacola make these beaches look like swamp land! However, it still makes my list of things to do with my husband and kids. I mean - the beach is the beach! :)
Although I can say, just like I always do in Pensacola, I walked hand in hand with the Lord yesterday at Sanibel. And, like always happens, He showed up right when I needed Him to. I have had a great time this week, venturing to see things I have never seen, going places I've never been; but it's ok for it to come to an end. When I was in Pensacola with Mark and the boys in June, I prayed for time to stand still and for us to be able to stay there forever. My heart is so alive on that beach, and I smile alot more easily and frequently than I do other times. When the opportunity came to make this trip, I felt very fortunate and extremely excited. Two beach trips in the same summer! Woo! Woo! Yet, I find myself looking forward to the plane ride home tomorrow, more than I than I did the trip itself. Today I find myself even more fortunate that I have my little Mountain Oasis to return to.
So .... the journey continues ......
Kalena The Traveler
And, uh, oh yeah - yesterday on Sanibel, the Lord assured me that He is very fond of Pensacola, also! :)
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Unconditionally
So, I've been doing ALOT of reading lately - Christian Fiction mostly. If there is even such a thing - think about that. Christian Fiction. Kind of an oxymoronic term. Christian Fiction. I'm no rocket scientist, by any means, but I do understand that when it comes to faith and the core of Christianity - Fiction is probably the only category that Spiritual encounters and revelatory moments with God can be classified as. The greatest thing about faith is that, because it can't be evidentially proven, it can't be disproved either. WOW!!! How much I love God!
The greatest thing I've learned in all my reading is how much GOD LOVES ME! It's mind blowing actually! That with all my mistakes, shortcomings, failures and imperfections - HE KEEPS ON LOVING ME! I suppose, because I'm the only one who truly knows how long that list actually is that it means more to me than anyone reading this how HUGE His love is. BUT ... we all have our lists, and we all have our stories; and, I'm sure I'm not the only one who sits in awe of our God wondering HOW he could possibly still love me knowing what I know about myself.
Well, smack dab in the middle of my fiction reading, the Lord calmly pointed out that I am the only one surprised by my short comings. He knew everything about me from the beginning. Where I would fall short, where I would excel - every intricate detail of my existence continuing into eternity - and He sent me here from heaven, anyway. He is my HALO! He covers me, carries me and protects me continuously - even when I'm too thick to realize I need it! And ..... HE LOVES ME - UNCONDITIONALLY - in spite of myself!
Isn't that AWESOME?
Much Love,
Karen
*Sidenote* - Of all the names given to God in the Bible - HALO is my acronym from scripture- and it is my absolute favorite! It gives such a glorious image of Him that only the heart can see!
Isaiah 57:15 says "For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones."
The greatest thing I've learned in all my reading is how much GOD LOVES ME! It's mind blowing actually! That with all my mistakes, shortcomings, failures and imperfections - HE KEEPS ON LOVING ME! I suppose, because I'm the only one who truly knows how long that list actually is that it means more to me than anyone reading this how HUGE His love is. BUT ... we all have our lists, and we all have our stories; and, I'm sure I'm not the only one who sits in awe of our God wondering HOW he could possibly still love me knowing what I know about myself.
Well, smack dab in the middle of my fiction reading, the Lord calmly pointed out that I am the only one surprised by my short comings. He knew everything about me from the beginning. Where I would fall short, where I would excel - every intricate detail of my existence continuing into eternity - and He sent me here from heaven, anyway. He is my HALO! He covers me, carries me and protects me continuously - even when I'm too thick to realize I need it! And ..... HE LOVES ME - UNCONDITIONALLY - in spite of myself!
Isn't that AWESOME?
Much Love,
Karen
*Sidenote* - Of all the names given to God in the Bible - HALO is my acronym from scripture- and it is my absolute favorite! It gives such a glorious image of Him that only the heart can see!
Isaiah 57:15 says "For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones."
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