In Simon's Shadow

So, I have spent a great part of today thinking about my life ..... where I've been ..... where I'm going ..... what the heck I'm doing. And, it occurred to me that WHO I am is the most important aspect of all of these things. Loud, Eccentric, A Type personality ..... completely full of myself. Somewhere in my revelatory moments I realized just how much I love Simon Peter. Much like me, he is the greatest Biblical example of "Open Mouth, Insert Foot" kind of guy around. I wondered for a minute if Jesus actually laughed out loud that night in the garden knowing that Peter's dying declaration was full of passion but a zero bust on follow through. I can kind of imagine a hardy gafaw that the Gospels so lovingly left from their texts to minimize the humility of what was to come. Amazingly, this is the one account of Simon Peter's interacting with the Lord that is covered in ALL FOUR Gospels. Peter walked on water, and only Matthew gave note to mention it, but NO ONE missed this monumental fall of Peter. We love Simon Peter, much like Jesus does; because, it is very easy to understand the heart's desire to be "All In" for our Jesus, and, at the same time, know the heartache of falling short.

I had the good fortune of meeting Simon Peter some years ago. In 1986, actually, I was blessed to sit in his company and listen to him talk in the most remarkable way about our Lord and what it was like to walk with Him and talk with Him ..... just to be in His presence. I have always figured Jesus to be a common looking kind of man, somebody who just could fit in with the crowd in Jerusalem, not some runway model with strikingly good looks. More of a man who became more attractive as you got to know Him. On that day, however, my heart took me far away from the boat we were on to a place where the Bible came alive and opened herself up to me so I could see. My Jesus was beautiful in every way I could think of. So deeply I wished it were me that had walked with Jesus and could talk about Him like that. So passionately I did not want that moment to end.

In truth, the beginning of my life being turned upside down had just begun. My parents had uprooted all of us kids from the town we had grown up in, our home, our church, leaving all friends, relationships, everything behind. There was anger and bitterness and ugliness everywhere. I was angry all the time, and there was nothing I could do about it; because, I was a kid. I wasn't in charge of anything, but was reaping a consequence of someone else's choices.

As always, God showed up to carry us kids through a part of our journey no one else wanted. He came to us that year through Brother Roy Chewning, who was the temporal Pastor at the church most of our family went to. Brother Chewning was different from any other pastor I had ever known, because he taught us through the most peculiar ways that we could actually have FUN in our loving the Lord and still be loving our Lord. A thing I had never even given thought to. Church was serious business and there was no place for fun, as far as I knew. Brother Chewning opened a Spiritual door for me, I have never allowed to close. My blessed encounter with Peter was cast by the hands of this man. On that particular day, he chartered a fishing boat over in Perdido Key for our Youth Group. We all loaded in the vans at Klondike Baptist and road for what seemed an eternity ( I remember singing that song "On My Own" by Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonald), got out and climbed on to this smelly fishing boat and sat down. OK ..... we were going for a boat ride. Cool enough! I HAD NO IDEA just how cool this boat ride was about to become.

Not long after we all sat down in our little school circle, out walked this remarkable looking man, dressed in first century attire, with an air of almost floating across the deck of the boat. And, he was a BIG guy .... broad shouldered, solid weight guy! When he situated himself in the middle of our half circle and looked up to begin speaking, he appearance became even more mezmorizing because one of his eyes was silverish white. He was captivating to look at, and, strangely, he didn't seem at all out of place in that cloak. BUT ..... when he began speaking ..... I completely lost touch with time and reality. His words about our Lord and the relationship he had with Him carried me across continents and through time, and I - Karen Elaine Johnson - I was truly on the Sea of Galilee, lost in the words of this man who had lived with my Lord and loved Him in a way I had never heard of. I couldn't tell you how long he talked, and I don't even remember what he said anymore. All I know is that it was real, and I was there! It wasn't until he finished speaking that I actually regained reality of time and location.

The experience has never left me. Many days in my life I have dreamed to be back on that boat, on our Lord's Sea. Many times I have searched myself to recapture that moment. There have been others since, but none like that day. Yet, I keep searching ..... to get myself to that place God is leading me ..... to have that kind of understanding of His love ..... not to just know that He loves me ..... but to recapture that 1st Generation Christian walk in this 21st Century brokenness ..... to follow in Simon's Shadow, that God will be so clear to people through me that they come into the full understanding of being in relationship with Him just because they hear me speak.

With Much Love .......

Kalena in Kenosis


Today's trailer - I have recently learned that the wonderful man who sat as Simon Peter on that boat that day is Pastor Mike Westbury. In 1986, he served as the Youth Pastor at East Brent Baptist. He has since moved to Texas. It is in my heart to find him just to let him know the impact that afternoon, all those years ago has had on my life.