The best stories I tell in my life ALL begin with the phrase, "what had happened was". I learned that little tidbit some years ago. I never planned it, it just happened that way. This week has been no different. I was on task ... getting my posts written ... I had determined that this year, beginning on 1/1, I was going to write a post on here everyday. I was on course for the first week, and, then, it happened. And ....... what had happened was .....
I believe I posted this some years ago, but, it warrants repeating. When I was kid, there used to be these pop up carnivals that traveled throughout the eastern part of the country. You know the ones .... here today, gone tomorrow. Well, along with the carnival part of these traveling wonders, there were "freak shows". I don't mean that negatively. It's what they were called. They covered the area of land just outside the actual entrance to the carnival. If you were so inclined, you could see a bearded lady, a tall man, a two headed boy, or a dog faced boy, or whatever other freakiness they offered .... all for a nominal fee, of course. I'm not exactly sure what the intended purpose behind this particular aspect of the carnival was designed for, but, as an adult, the purpose of this aspect has taken on an entirely knew role in life. It occurs to me at this point, freak shows exist as a distraction to your intended path and destination. If you spend all of your resources on the freak shows, you have nothing left to enter into the actual event you are headed towards.
In my walk with the Lord, these freak shows pop up as unsuspectingly and disappear as quickly as the road side carnivals from my youth. And .... they have all the bells and whistles, shiny lights and sickly sweet smells of the carnivals I remember. I am standing on some exceedingly great and precious promises from the Lord. I am working out my own salvation, and I am steps closer to being completely led by the Holy Spirit. That is my carnival destination ..... to fully be the child of God, He sent me down here to be in 1966. Everything I do. Everything I say is based entirely and solely on my relationship to Him and with Him. I don't pay any attention to anything that doesn't have a direct impact on that relationship with Him. This week, however .... FREAK SHOWS!!!!!! Two of them, out of nowhere, specifically because of my walk with Him.
The first one .... which does NOT warrant discussion .... directly affected my children. I can say with most certainty .... NOTHING on this Earth stirs a reaction from me quicker than someone, especially another adult, making decisions that will directly affect my boys in a negative manner. I have never stood for it, and, even though they are both teenagers in High School, I still will NOT stand for it. I am learning that in the same manner that our heavenly Father parents me ..... I parent the boys He has entrusted to me. The degree of selfishness, the indescribable abuse of authority and over inflated opinion of self worth that caused this circumstance to be completely out of control by the time it came to my attention is incredible! The anger it stirred in me gave cause for me to exercise my vocabulary of silence for two days .... lest I would have spent the exact same amount of incredible in repentance! FREAK SHOW!
Second one .... selfishness and a blazing lack of personal respect. When I was growing up, anytime one of the siblings got in trouble, my dad punished everybody. In a most un-welcomed and completely blind sided way, I am reminded exactly how that felt. Daddy turned 78 yesterday, and, like I do, I called to talk for a few minutes and see how he was and how his day was going and happy, happy, joy, joy for another year. What I got was the Reader's Digest version of his dissertation of disapproval on every decision I have made in my life that he doesn't agree with and will not accept or tolerate .... namely being in an interracial marriage. Although I appreciate his laboring effort to be civil in his words ..... I don't appreciate having to hear any of it at all. I call to say happy birthday, and, in turn, get shredded because he's angry with a sibling. How's that they say about "no good deed"... Long story short! FREAK SHOW! Happy Birthday, anyhow, Daddy! I love you!
Back to number one ..... the entirety of this spectacle should have been over today. Alas .... not so. There is a social event tomorrow, where my presence is required, at which all of the players involved in the freak show will be present. It is my intent, in earnest, to again exercise my vocabulary of silence, smile and wave ..... and then escape back to the safety of my home. 314 million people in this country, and it never ceases to amaze me that anybody can still have a mindset that everything is about them!!!!
I am staying the course, by passing the freak shows! All of my resources have a vision, a goal and a determined destination .... that's where you'll find me!
Corn dog in one hand, cotton candy in the other ......
At the Carnival,
Kalena
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